Resurrected Relationships:

….among friends

 John 15:9-17; 1 Peter 1:3;

First Presbyterian Church, Brownsville, TN

April 20, 2008             Dr. Will Jones

 

Summary: Friendships play an essential role in helping us enjoy life.  We are made to interact socially with others who are not related to us.  Friendships in general are built on mutual attraction, trust, and support.  Christian friendships exist where believers are united by the Holy Spirit with the priorities of worshipping God, living morally, and practicing acts of friendship toward others.  Friendships within the Christian community are a blessing that have eternal benefits. 

 

Outline

I.       Defining Friendship

a.       An unlikely friendship[1]

                                                              i.      20 yrs each New Year’s Eve; totally different opinions; disagree most of the time; very different personality types – one serious, one joking

                                                            ii.      ideological opposites: Antonin Scalia (die-hard conservative) & Ruth Bader Ginsberg (ACLU lawyer; women’s rights movement of the 70’s)

                                                          iii.      “she’s is an intelligent woman and a nice woman and a considerate woman – all the qualities that you like in a person.” 

                                                          iv.      “I’ve always enjoyed Nino.  He can always say things that make me laugh.” 

                                                            v.      DC Circuit Court of Appeals; love classical music; performing arts; respect and appreciation for each other; “Scalia kills it, Martin cooks it.” 

b.      Statistics and reports

                                                              i.      A topic studied since antiquity….

1.      Plato: dialogues about friendship in Phaedrus

2.      Aristotle: 2 out of 10 books in Nicomachean Ethics on friendship: “without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.”

3.      Augustine: Confessions Book IV – reflections on death of a friend; love for friend leads to love for God. 

                                                            ii.      Conclusion drawn: friendship is essential to a life well-lived. 

c.       Studies on friendship; psychological & social; developmental

                                                              i.      Sapadin (1988): 156 people from NY, Boston, & LA: finish the sentence: “A close friend is…”  Crawford in Britain (1977):

1.      Someone you trust; depend on; with whom you share things; who accepts you; w/whom you have caring relationship; who comes into my home; I’ve known for a long time; I can call on for help.” 

2.      Men: go and do things with – activity together; women: talk to and share with

d.      Jeremy Taylor (17th Cen. Anglican) “When friendships were the noblest things in the world, charity was little.”[2]

e.       “A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.” (R. W. Emerson, 1868). 

II.    Difficulty in developing friendships as adults

a.       Think of a close friend who is not a family member

                                                              i.      Who? How long? Why?

                                                            ii.      20 hours of close contact required

                                                          iii.      Who has time for that?

b.      Acquaintances v. Friendships

                                                              i.      So many acquaintances, so few, true friends

                                                            ii.      Brownsville is a very difficult place to make friends”

1.      Takes a long time

c.       Like v. love

                                                              i.      So many people we enjoy and see and like, so few who we love and are loved by in a deep way. 

III. Christian friendships

a.       “I have called you friends…”

                                                              i.      The depth of closeness initiated by Jesus

                                                            ii.      This moment shard by Jesus: crisis moment, need them and they need each other; sharing a new way of being human with each other

b.      Principles of Christian friendship

                                                              i.      Worship

1.      Desire to know and revere God together; Glorify God together gives us a larger purpose than ourselves; removes our selfish strain when we seek God together. 

                                                            ii.      Justice

1.      Moral foundation:

2.      Accountability: gentle reminders about what is right v. wrong

a.       True friends will hear it and accept it

                                                                                                                                      i.      Proverbs:

                                                                                                                                    ii.      Someone who tells you “yes” all the time is someone who is not taking your friendship seriously enough

3.      Caring/Compassion

a.       How do you make it through life’s trials without friends?

                                                                                                                                      i.      Christian friends support each other

                                                          iii.      Practice

1.      Friendships must be cultivated and cared for within the Christian community

2.      Carry each others’ burdens (Gal. 6:2)

3.      Worship elements cultivate friendships

4.      Jeremy Taylor, “The more we love, the better we are, and the greater our friendships are, the dearer we are to God.” 

 

 

For a DVD copy of this sermon, click here …

 



[1] “Ginsburg, Scalia strike a balance,” USA Today, 12-25-07.

[2] Quoted in Friendship: A Study in Theological Ethics, G. Meilander, p.1